Common Problems (Part 36 of 50)

Stay in one POV for an entire scene. Although I discussed POV previously, I continue to see what we call head hopping within a scene.

* . . . There were times when Gregory doubted what the agency told him. [Gregory's POV]. Same scene, two paragraphs later: The ship bellowed out a demand to board. To Lana and Gregory, its urgent appeal went unheard. [The writer slipped into third person universal POV].

* This is in Stan's POV: Stan watched Nick approach, trying to whisper. (How does Stan know Nick tries?)

* Ellen watched Drew move aimlessly through the crowd, searching for a kind face. (How does she know Drew is aimless? How does she know what he searches for? Even if he had told her, that may not have been true.) 

Decide on one point of view 

and stay with it for the entire scene.

Common Problems (Part 10 of 50)

Don't filter #3. Don't filter by shifting to you. Some writers filter by switching to the second-person point of view. That's like a scene in a film where a man is ready to ring the doorbell to pick up his date. After he got to the door, before he could ring the bell:

Heather opened it and smiled. You know that warm, tender smile that makes a man know she was the woman he wanted to marry.

Shifting to you is like that ploy actors use when they're in the middle of a scene and turn, face the camera, and talk to the audience. It spoils the scene. It pulls us out of the mood and the action.

• When you live in California, you’re not quite sure which scenes are for real or which could be performances.

• If you have ever been to an Itzack Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him.

Are the sentences understandable? Yes, they are. But they're stronger if you stay in the POV that goes before it:

• Those of us who live in California are not. . .

• It's no small achievement for Itzack Perlman to. . .

Because I am a good writer,
I avoid shifting to you.

Common Problems (Part 9 of 50)

Don't filter #2. To avoid filtering, we need to be aware of staying within the selected POV. When you are in the POV of one person, readers see/hear/sense only what that POV person does.

When you tell us what s/he saw (or heard or any of the other senses), you pull us outside his/her POV. Don't tell us you felt. Show it from inside.

Here are five examples to illustrate flitering. Each becomes a stronger sentence if we omit noticed, watched, feel, heard, and knew.)

1. Helen noticed he laid his strong hand on Eva's shoulder as he spoke. (He laid his strong hand on Eva's shoulder as he spoke. Helen is our POV person, so anything that happens in the scene comes through her senses.)

2. He watched her cautiously step back. (She cautiously stepped back.)

3. I could feel my surfboard begin to slip. (My surfboard began to slip.)

4. She heard the door swing open. (The door swung open.)

5. Dorion knew precious seconds were ticking away. (Precious seconds ticked away.)

Serious writers seek to become excellent writers.
They remain diligent to avoid filtering.

Common Problems (Part 8 of 50)

Don't filter #1. Of all the principles I teach in writing, this seems the most difficult to grasp. I have not seen this in any writing book, and it's too subtle for those who aren't serious about improving their skills.

Let's start with the principle. When you are in the point of view (POV) of one person, you need to stay there, whether you write fiction or nonfiction. The tendency is to move outside the POV and become the observer of the action instead of the actor.

This shows when we use words such as saw, heard, observed, or noticed. Here's a simple example and the POV is first-person singular: I heard Allison sigh with contentment.

You have moved out of first person and have become the observer of the action. To remain in the POV, you would write: Allison sighed with contentment.

You couldn't hear the sigh unless you heard the sigh. If you tell readers you heard, you're no longer in the first person POV.

Here's a sentence in third-person POV: Anna could feel the floor shake as the opera chorus assembled on stage.

The writer jumped outside the female POV person and told us what Anna experienced. Better: The floor shook as the opera chorus assembled on stage. By describing what took place, readers are aware that Anna felt it.

Because I want to become an excellent writer,
I will avoid filtering.

Four Viewpoints (Part 17 of 17)

Here are my concluding words of advice about POV.

1. Use first person if you want the entire book to have a limited, personal, and individual perspective.

2. If you want high reader identification with your character, first person is a good choice. Or go with limited third person.

3. If you want to describe your character from the outside, where you tell us "she thought" or "he said," limited third person works well.

4. If you want to experiment and can justify it, choose second person as a modified first person.

5. If you want perspective so readers can glimpse the attitude and feelings of several characters and grasp the plot from different outlooks or perceptions, the omniscient or unlimited third person might work for you.

If you're unsure, write a page or two in each POV. As you look at them and compare what you want to accomplish, ask yourself, "Which of these POVs would be the most satisfying to me?"

You have to decide the POV that works best for you.

Four Viewpoints (Part 16 of 17)

No rule exists that says you must stay in a single point of view. You can mix them from scene to scene. You might alternate from the hero's POV in one scene and the heroine's in the next.

Or write a chapter using third person and shift to first in the next. Rosellen Brown wrote a novel about a young man who molested and murdered his girlfriend in Before and After. She arranged the book in four sections, with different viewpoints. The reviews on Amazon were mixed and mostly negative. (Part of the mixed reactions may have been because of the theme.)

In which genre are you writing? Examine books by authors who write in the same field. Familiarize yourself with their POVs.

It's easier to sell books written
in the usual POVs.

Four Viewpoints (Part 15 of 17)

Recently a few authors have tried and gotten away with the totally omniscient POV. For emerging writers, we suggest avoiding this POV because:

1. Switching POV within a scene jars careful readers. It shatters reality because none of us is omniscient.

2. Such pauses in the narrative flow tend to tell readers what they need to show them.

3. The POV continually shifts. The writing tends to become more impersonal because readers don't identify with and focus primarily on one character.

4. Readers aren't always sure who is the major character. Recently I read A Grain of Wheat, written in 1967, which is considered a modern African classic by Ngui wa Thionog'o. The back of the book reads, "Set in 1963, A Grain of Wheat tells the story of Kenya on the verge of . . . independence. The novel focuses on Mugo. . . "

Mugo? I liked the novel immensely, but another character, Gikonyo, seemed as much the focus of the book until I read the last 30 pages. I also liked Gikonyo much better than Mugo. I could argue that the author would have been wiser to go with shifting third-person limited POVs, but it was his choice.

4. The omniscient is difficult to pull off and keep readers with you. When well written, readers can enjoy all perspectives, but it's risky.

Avoid the omniscient POV
unless there's a compelling reason and
you're positive you can do it well.

Four Viewpoints (Part 14 of 17)

In the third-person omniscient POV, the author takes a panoramic view of the characters and events. The story doesn't unfold through the eyes of a single person, but we become part of an invisible, all-knowing, all-seeing narrator. This is also called the God view. It means you can know anything. This point of view works best in a story with a complicated plot and multiple characters.

In the omniscient POV, the author "drops in" on any of the characters. You can write from the hero’s perspective in one scene, from the heroine’s POV in the next, and then to the villain’s. You may vary viewpoints as often as you choose.

In the nineteenth century, those now called the classic authors often wrote from an omniscient viewpoint. They skipped from head to head of their characters within a scene. Often they stopped the action to comment on the people, and some would even pause to say, “And now, gentle reader” or “Pity him, dear reader, who thinks of such evil.”

Years ago I read this someplace (and forgot to keep the reference, for which I apologize):

Humpty Dumpty didn’t realize it, but soon he would have a great
fall, and the king’s horses and all the king’s men would not be
able to put him together again.

(Humpty didn’t realize what was happening, so we’re not in his POV. We’re godlike because we know what’s going to happen even though the poor fellow didn't.)

Omniscient POV is a long-established style of writing;
However, most writers stayed within a limited POV.

Four Viewpoints (Part 13 of 17)

One variation on the limited third-person POV is to close a scene and open the next one from a different third-person perspective. This is becoming a popular way for writers to express a wider range of emotions, character development, and scope.

For example, Rachel is our POV and this is the end of the scene.

"I love you and I'll always love you," Rachel said. Tears filled her eyes and she looked away from Cary.

You insert a double return (as we called it in typewriter days) or you can use asterisks or something fancy like this: §. This shows the break in a scene.

We now pick up the story and we shift POV to Cary.

His body tensed and he started to embrace her. If I forgive her this time, he thought, it will be the same story again. She fails me and makes me feel sorry for her. "Your words mean nothing to me this time," he said.

I like this variation in fiction. I can identify with more than one person. I can "become" both Cary and Rachel.

The third-person variation allows writers to provide
a wider scope to the plot and to character development.

Four Viewpoints (Part 12 of 17)

We speak of third-person POV in two ways. The most popular writing is done in what we call the limited third person. I'll also explain the other third person, sometimes called omniscient, universal, or unlimited third-person POV.

Third-person limited POV shows readers only what happens around that person—usually the protagonist or heroic figure. If you start that way, you stay that way. (As I mentioned in an earlier post, you can switch to first person if you start a new scene. That's not common, but it's acceptable.)

You are always inside the perspective and emotions of one person. For most modern writing, you don't jump into another person's head within the scene. Everything that happens comes from that singular POV. There are usually frequent uses of "he thought," or "he said," from the narrator's POV.

I want to stress that readers see, think, and feel only what the main character experiences. There are no shifts to another character’s thoughts or emotions.

Limited third-person POV is easy to read
and the most widely accepted POV.

Four Viewpoints (Part 11 of 17)

Here are a few concluding thoughts on using the second-person POV.

1. You is the same as I.

Second: "As you approach the house, you see that someone has broken the lock. You push the door open and the noxious odor floods your nostrils."

First: "I approach the house. Someone has broken the lock, so I push the door open and the noxious odor floods my nostrils."

2. You write the narrative just as if the POV character is first person. You have to keep the "you" character's experience limited to what "you" can know.

3. You can write physical description easily and it comes with a confident tone: "You stare approvingly at your suntanned skin. You flex your muscles and pose as if you've just won the Mr. Universe title."

If you write from a second-person POV
it can be jarring,
so you need a good reason to use that approach.

Four Viewpoints (Part 10 of 17)

Authors usually write second person in the present tense. Ordinary observations seem stronger when you shift to second person.

Here's a comparison:

First person: I peer into my husband’s musty studx. The neatness tells me that no one has been there. I smile. They haven't found the incriminating document.

Second person: You peer into your murdered husband’s musty study. The neatness tells you that no one has been there since his death. You smile. They haven't found the document.

The experts insist that the second sounds more ominous. By injecting murdered and death, they say it sounds more natural.

They may be correct, but it doesn't feel right to me.

You need to be comfortable in whatever POV you choose.

Four Viewpoints (Part 9 of 17)

If you write in the second person, you are addressing the readers directly, as in "You walk into the room and there she is, tall and blonde and looking like trouble." This is difficult to maintain for a full book and few writers can do it well.

You can intersperse first person and second person. I often do first person and mix it with second person. (I also switch from first-person singular and first-person plural.)

My soon-to-be published book called Unleashing the Writer Within is such a mixture on purpose. I tell my experience from my perspective, do a break, and switch to second person. Here's an example:

In these examples I've presented two needy, negative-impact individuals. Their inner privation shows in what they write.

But then, all of us express our neediness in what we write. I used those two examples because they seem obvious.

*****

Think about your different strengths and weaknesses. Let's start with the premise that the two terms are opposite sides of the same issue. Your power is also your drawback.

Although I've written in the previous chapter about the reasons for writing, I still come back to one significant fact. If it's not part of your commitment and your divinely given talent, you won't pursue it: Write to find out who you are.

When I wrote in the first-person singular, my purpose was to tell them something about Cec Murphey and his experience. I shifted to first-person plural when I wanted to wrap my arms around writers and say, "This is how all or most of us feel."

When I want to instruct, I shift to "you" and it feels right to me.

Before you choose POV,
make certain you understand your purpose.

Four Viewpoints (Part 8 of 17)

It's all right to use second-person POV in certain kinds of nonfiction. I recommend it when the article or book is instructional and I'm an instructor giving you information or explaining how to make something. You talk directly to the readers (as this sentence does to you).

Most of my posts for this blog are written in second person. Perhaps it sounds boastful of me, but my reason is simple. I've been writing and selling professionally since 1971 and have published in almost every genre. Thus I feel I have the experience and credentials (my published work) to back up whatever I put it my blog. (Notice I wrote "experience and credentials," which doesn't mean I know everything. I share with you what I've learned.)

You don't need years of experience to write in second person. But be aware that you're coming across as the authority—the one who knows—and you're writing to someone who is ignorant or knows less about the topic than you do.

Be careful that you don't come across as patronizing—and I know a few writers who do that unintentionally. You don't want to sound like the condescending authoritarian who says, "There is only one way for you to accomplish this. You must do it my way to be successful."

When you write instructions or how-to material,
and you're sure of your material,
second person is a good choice.

Four Viewpoints (Part 7 of 17)

Second-person POV

"You open the door and immediately you see the face you hate." That's second-person POV.

Writers rarely use this POV in fiction because (1) it's difficult to write well; (2) it sounds affected; and (3) it's not a natural way to tell a story.

Using second person is a type of first-person POV. It's as if the narrators talk to themselves. You can’t inject your own comments or observations—the story belongs entirely to the second-person narrator.

This POV is a nice gimmick for a short piece, but for an entire novel, it becomes wearing. Jay McInerney did it well in Bright Lights, Big City, but that's rare.

Here’s the beginning of “The Beautiful Uncut Hair of Graves” a short story in David Morrell's collection, Black Evening (1999, Warner, p.321): "Despite the rain, you’ve been to the cemetery yet again, ignoring the cold wind blowing against your pant legs and shoes."

A few pages later, Morrell has his character driving along the Pacific Coast Highway and it reads: “Preoccupied, you barely notice the dramatic scenery: the windblown pine trees, the rugged cliffs, the whitecaps hitting the shore. You ask yourself why you didn’t merely phone the authorities at Redwood Point . . . " (p. 330)

Although the descriptive style is the same as it is in first person, you do have a little more freedom. Here's a made-up example to express what I mean:

You're wearing your size five dress that shows you at your best. Avalon Foundation hides the creases near your eyes when you smile. He stares at you and you know you've hooked him.

Think of second person as slightly removed from first person.
Don't use second person in fiction unless nothing else works.

Four Viewpoints (Part 6 of 17)

Here are a few things you need to consider if you tackle first-person POV.

1. Your readers can know only what your protagonist knows. You can’t have any scenes in which the central character isn't involved. (A few writers, such as James Patterson have developed a first-person/third-person style. Alex Cross speaks in first person; the antagonist, in alternating chapters, appears in third person.)

2. In older works, such as The Razor's Edge, W. Somerset Maugham himself acts as narrator and tells the story of Larry Darrell and his spiritual journey. That approach has gone out of style. Today, your lead character tells the story. You stay totally inside that head all the way through.

3. One drawback is the awkwardness when the protagonist speaks of himself or herself. In third-person POV, the lead can be objective, but it's difficult to pull that off in first person.

4. Another weakness involves showing the inner workings of characters other than the hero. The narrator can’t delve into the minds of others or show what others think or feel.

5. The biggest weakness I see is that readers see all characters and events through the eyes of the protagonist, which means that even though the person may be perceptive, the other characters are superficial.

Think carefully before you use the first-person POV.
Is it the best way to tell your story?

Four Viewpoints (Part 5 of 17)

I used to hear people advise writers to turn their autobiographies into novels. In my opinion it rarely works, and especially when it's written in first-person POV.

If you attempt to write that way, you create problems because you, the story's narrator, are not the first person. You create a character and see life and events through that person, but you're writing fiction, not nonfiction.

If you try it, the tendency will be to stay close to the facts and thus limit the scope of the book. The book tends to have a kind of wooden tone because you operate only with facts.

As one agent said, "You're too close to the scene of the crime and you have no perspective." She meant that trying to make your experience into fiction tends to take away the spontaneity and imaginative flow.

The worst defense you can offer for trying first-person fiction based on reality is, "But it really happened." So what?

It's not whether it happened, but whether it's believable. As the adage goes, "Truth is stranger than fiction." When you chose fiction, you cut away the lines that kept you tied to literal truth. Your responsibility is to provide a good read—an entertaining, imaginative story.

The worst defense for a bad novel is
"But it really happened."

Four Viewpoints (Part 4 of 17)

"Beginners love using first person," an agent said many years ago. She pointed out that, when written well, the writing gives immediacy to the story.

When I ghostwrite an autobiography, first-person POV is the only option I consider and for that very reason. Gifted Hands that I wrote for Dr. Ben Carson begins like this:

"And your daddy isn't going to live with us anymore."

"Why not?" I asked again, choking back the tears. . .

In 90 Minutes in Heaven, first person made sense because the entire book revolves around Don Piper and what he experienced.

I've written a total of four books for Don Piper. The other books carry Don's name and mine, which makes me the co-writer. Our editor insisted on staying with the first person and I had no problem with that. Chapter 66, for example, from our second book, Daily Devotions Inspired by 90 Minutes in Heaven, begins:

I survived because of prayer.

I survived because one man felt God impress on him to pray for me, even though the EMTs said I was dead. He prayed anyway.

First-person narrator is an observer
and also a character or participant.

Four Viewpoints (Part 3 of 17)

Point of View (POV) can be difficult to grasp; it often takes writers a long time to understand. I'll explain each of the four points of view.

First-person POV

First person means you write the story from the “I” viewpoint. When constructed well, this brings about a personal connection with the narrator. Many detective and private-eye novels thrust the narrator into the middle of the action. Readers can identify with and become the "I" who solves the problem.

Gothic novels are no longer popular, but they focused on the first person's perception. (Gothics began with Jane Eyre and include Rebecca as the most outstanding modern version. The "I" narrator is an insecure, sensitive heroine in a castle or mansion, often isolated, and her life is frequently threatened.)

The power of first-person accounts is that they foreshadow events, often evil or catastrophe, and do them through the foreboding or troubled heart of the protagonist.

In the older gothics, they often used the If-only-I-had-known technique to create suspense. Readers experienced doubt, fear, and insecurity along with the narrator. Because readers are the narrator, they learn only when the narrator does and can create suspense.

First-person POV works for specific reasons.
Before you try it, be sure it works for you.

Four Viewpoints (Part 2 of 17)

POV is the perspective from which you tell a story or anecdote and it applies to fiction and nonfiction. Some say it's the single, most important choice you have to make. I wouldn't go that far, but POV influences how readers perceive the story.

POV answers:

• Who is my main character?

• Which character do I want readers to empathize with or understand?

• How do I want readers to view the setting?

If you chose your POV well, your writing flows. One expert said, "POV is the glue that holds the story together. It also dictates what kind of description we use and which characters get to do the describing."

Suppose the Old Testament story of Joseph and his brothers was written in the POV of Gad? Could he have seen the wickedness of his own heart? (See Genesis chapters 37 to 50.)

Could the 10 brothers have known what went on in Joseph's life after they sold him into slavery? Or if it had been written in Joseph's POV (first person), he couldn't have known the plotting of his brothers or their feelings afterward. By making it third person, we get a rounder picture of the entire story, but we don't have the warm, private picture of Joseph.

Different perspectives bring out
different aspects of a story.