Common Problems (Part 10 of 50)

Don't filter #3. Don't filter by shifting to you. Some writers filter by switching to the second-person point of view. That's like a scene in a film where a man is ready to ring the doorbell to pick up his date. After he got to the door, before he could ring the bell:

Heather opened it and smiled. You know that warm, tender smile that makes a man know she was the woman he wanted to marry.

Shifting to you is like that ploy actors use when they're in the middle of a scene and turn, face the camera, and talk to the audience. It spoils the scene. It pulls us out of the mood and the action.

• When you live in California, you’re not quite sure which scenes are for real or which could be performances.

• If you have ever been to an Itzack Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him.

Are the sentences understandable? Yes, they are. But they're stronger if you stay in the POV that goes before it:

• Those of us who live in California are not. . .

• It's no small achievement for Itzack Perlman to. . .

Because I am a good writer,
I avoid shifting to you.

Four Viewpoints (Part 17 of 17)

Here are my concluding words of advice about POV.

1. Use first person if you want the entire book to have a limited, personal, and individual perspective.

2. If you want high reader identification with your character, first person is a good choice. Or go with limited third person.

3. If you want to describe your character from the outside, where you tell us "she thought" or "he said," limited third person works well.

4. If you want to experiment and can justify it, choose second person as a modified first person.

5. If you want perspective so readers can glimpse the attitude and feelings of several characters and grasp the plot from different outlooks or perceptions, the omniscient or unlimited third person might work for you.

If you're unsure, write a page or two in each POV. As you look at them and compare what you want to accomplish, ask yourself, "Which of these POVs would be the most satisfying to me?"

You have to decide the POV that works best for you.

Four Viewpoints (Part 11 of 17)

Here are a few concluding thoughts on using the second-person POV.

1. You is the same as I.

Second: "As you approach the house, you see that someone has broken the lock. You push the door open and the noxious odor floods your nostrils."

First: "I approach the house. Someone has broken the lock, so I push the door open and the noxious odor floods my nostrils."

2. You write the narrative just as if the POV character is first person. You have to keep the "you" character's experience limited to what "you" can know.

3. You can write physical description easily and it comes with a confident tone: "You stare approvingly at your suntanned skin. You flex your muscles and pose as if you've just won the Mr. Universe title."

If you write from a second-person POV
it can be jarring,
so you need a good reason to use that approach.

Four Viewpoints (Part 10 of 17)

Authors usually write second person in the present tense. Ordinary observations seem stronger when you shift to second person.

Here's a comparison:

First person: I peer into my husband’s musty studx. The neatness tells me that no one has been there. I smile. They haven't found the incriminating document.

Second person: You peer into your murdered husband’s musty study. The neatness tells you that no one has been there since his death. You smile. They haven't found the document.

The experts insist that the second sounds more ominous. By injecting murdered and death, they say it sounds more natural.

They may be correct, but it doesn't feel right to me.

You need to be comfortable in whatever POV you choose.

Four Viewpoints (Part 9 of 17)

If you write in the second person, you are addressing the readers directly, as in "You walk into the room and there she is, tall and blonde and looking like trouble." This is difficult to maintain for a full book and few writers can do it well.

You can intersperse first person and second person. I often do first person and mix it with second person. (I also switch from first-person singular and first-person plural.)

My soon-to-be published book called Unleashing the Writer Within is such a mixture on purpose. I tell my experience from my perspective, do a break, and switch to second person. Here's an example:

In these examples I've presented two needy, negative-impact individuals. Their inner privation shows in what they write.

But then, all of us express our neediness in what we write. I used those two examples because they seem obvious.

*****

Think about your different strengths and weaknesses. Let's start with the premise that the two terms are opposite sides of the same issue. Your power is also your drawback.

Although I've written in the previous chapter about the reasons for writing, I still come back to one significant fact. If it's not part of your commitment and your divinely given talent, you won't pursue it: Write to find out who you are.

When I wrote in the first-person singular, my purpose was to tell them something about Cec Murphey and his experience. I shifted to first-person plural when I wanted to wrap my arms around writers and say, "This is how all or most of us feel."

When I want to instruct, I shift to "you" and it feels right to me.

Before you choose POV,
make certain you understand your purpose.

Four Viewpoints (Part 8 of 17)

It's all right to use second-person POV in certain kinds of nonfiction. I recommend it when the article or book is instructional and I'm an instructor giving you information or explaining how to make something. You talk directly to the readers (as this sentence does to you).

Most of my posts for this blog are written in second person. Perhaps it sounds boastful of me, but my reason is simple. I've been writing and selling professionally since 1971 and have published in almost every genre. Thus I feel I have the experience and credentials (my published work) to back up whatever I put it my blog. (Notice I wrote "experience and credentials," which doesn't mean I know everything. I share with you what I've learned.)

You don't need years of experience to write in second person. But be aware that you're coming across as the authority—the one who knows—and you're writing to someone who is ignorant or knows less about the topic than you do.

Be careful that you don't come across as patronizing—and I know a few writers who do that unintentionally. You don't want to sound like the condescending authoritarian who says, "There is only one way for you to accomplish this. You must do it my way to be successful."

When you write instructions or how-to material,
and you're sure of your material,
second person is a good choice.

Four Viewpoints (Part 7 of 17)

Second-person POV

"You open the door and immediately you see the face you hate." That's second-person POV.

Writers rarely use this POV in fiction because (1) it's difficult to write well; (2) it sounds affected; and (3) it's not a natural way to tell a story.

Using second person is a type of first-person POV. It's as if the narrators talk to themselves. You can’t inject your own comments or observations—the story belongs entirely to the second-person narrator.

This POV is a nice gimmick for a short piece, but for an entire novel, it becomes wearing. Jay McInerney did it well in Bright Lights, Big City, but that's rare.

Here’s the beginning of “The Beautiful Uncut Hair of Graves” a short story in David Morrell's collection, Black Evening (1999, Warner, p.321): "Despite the rain, you’ve been to the cemetery yet again, ignoring the cold wind blowing against your pant legs and shoes."

A few pages later, Morrell has his character driving along the Pacific Coast Highway and it reads: “Preoccupied, you barely notice the dramatic scenery: the windblown pine trees, the rugged cliffs, the whitecaps hitting the shore. You ask yourself why you didn’t merely phone the authorities at Redwood Point . . . " (p. 330)

Although the descriptive style is the same as it is in first person, you do have a little more freedom. Here's a made-up example to express what I mean:

You're wearing your size five dress that shows you at your best. Avalon Foundation hides the creases near your eyes when you smile. He stares at you and you know you've hooked him.

Think of second person as slightly removed from first person.
Don't use second person in fiction unless nothing else works.